"Where are all the REAL men?!"
Crazy Mommy, Invisible Daddy
This phenomenon runs rampant among guys.
The American family unit has disintegrated. Marriages fail half the time, and in the other half you probably have a large percentage that is dysfunctional. Tons of single moms raising boys on their own. Tons of boys who have no clue how to be men, so take their cues from TV and movies.
This is a set-up for badness when it comes to passing down manhood to one's son. As a result, we have decades of boys being raised by crazy moms, and by dads who aren't there.
Invisible Daddy
This is the guy who was supposed to be there telling you to go approach those two chicks at the bar. The guy correcting your tonality and body language. The guy telling you to hit the gym 5 days a week and start dressing in more stylish clothes because hot girls care about this stuff. Instead, he wasn't there, and so now here you are trying to get this knowledge. Better late than never.
Where was daddy?
Maybe he bailed out of his relationship with mom. Maybe she booted him out. Maybe he was physically there, but not present emotionally or in spirit. Maybe he meant well but never really stepped up as a Man to show you how it was done, because maybe he himself had no clue. Maybe he was drunk all the time or out chasing skirts or at the office obsessively working.
And so, you had a father who essentially was not there. Cobain summed it up well (as usual) in “Serve the Servants”:
“I tried hard to have a father but instead I had a dad.”
So when you don't have a real male role model to guide you, you turn to the next option, your mom.
Crazy Mommy
Invisible dad may be around, but he doesn't wear the pants. That role goes to mom. Mommy is stepping up and trying to raise her son the best she can. When dad screws up, there's mom assuming the masculine role putting dad in his submissive place. How's that for dysfunctional?
Dad tries to assert himself, then mom tests him (as is her nature). Dad buckles, and then mom is disappointed and forced to be the dad.
So you learn how to be a man from mom. And women, as we know, are not generally very good at being men. They like to test their men, but at the end of the day, they would prefer relaxing into their femininity and letting the man step up and do his job.
Over time, mommy does what she can to raise us. She gives us information about life and love. The problem is, it's largely wrong. We don't realize it at the time, and hence we deeply internalize this advice. We take it to the extreme and cling to it for decades, permitting it to shape our world view.
Feminism
Women are far more empowered now than ever in part because of the feminist movement. They are financially independent and thanks to the pill can delay child-bearing. And so they wait, not feeling the urgency of needing a man to support them. And they engage in casual sex without fear of pregnancy, sleeping with multiple partners.
Women have, in short, assumed many of the financial and sexual rights that men have enjoyed for hundreds of years.
This scares some dudes. It's bad enough they never learned from dad how to assert themselves or lead or stand up to the challenges women present, but now guys see the once submissive and financially dependent women take charge. Rather than step up his game, the dude gives in to resentment, bitterness and confusion. He resents mom, resents dad, resents all women. We wasn't prepared for this.
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What's a Boy to Do?
Realize that mommy didn't mean to be crazy. She was doing what she could and had to do, and since daddy wasn't present to counter her nutty advice, you had no choice but to believe it.
Realize this came from a place of love, not indignation or ill-will.
And realize it's time to forgive her. Like truly deep down appreciate all her stupid advice, and stop blaming her for the way you turned out. Starting right now.